CAKE FOR BREAKFAST...for dinner?
Lemme start by telling you something I ate with my bougie a$$ wallet. In celebration of finishing the first full draft of my book (!!!) I got a massage yesterday. Having an older, white man give me, a young Asian woman, a massage feels like some kind of social payback I haven't fully unpacked. Regardless, it was amazing.
🥨 Food Fight 🧀
I recently found out that Riley thinks Doritos are trash as “chips should deliver flavor not be coated in flavor." I recently found out that I think Riley is trash and should not be allowed to eat anything good ever again. There will be no poll on whether he is correct or I am because (1) you all betrayed me last time and said store-bought frosting is bad and (2) Doritos being good is in the Bible (AKA Bon Appetit's Gourmet Makes video series).
SOMETHING I ATE WITH MY MOUTH
Microwave popcorn has become my whole life as of last week. I love that you can watch the bag poof up in the microwave and you don't have to worry about burning yourself with splattering oil. I love that gross fake buttery film that sticks to the roof of your mouth when you eat it. I love that corn is kind of a vegetable making a bowl popcorn, in some regards, a salad.
Also, did you know that popcorn is partially to thank for the invention of the microwave? Wow, amazing, eating popcorn makes me a salad woman in STEM!
SOMETHING I ATE WITH MY EYES
I've seen Booksmart twice and both times I've needed to put my hair in a ponytail for the final third of the movie. This is because I consumed this film in the way I would a good and messy sandwich, which is to say I fucken devoured that shit like ~*nobody was watching*~. Female friendships are great! Female directors are great! The Jessica Williams-as-a-creepy-teacher.......wasn't great but the cameos in this movie are great!
SOMETHING I ATE WITH MY TRASH BRAIN
I have become obsessed with The Bachelorette because I am, say it with me, INSUFFERABLE. It has served as my gateway drug to shows like Love Island, which is like Jersey Shore meets Big Brother meets Bachelor In Paradise but everyone's from the UK. Now, I am obsessed with Paradise Hotel.
Paradise Hotel is a poo poo trash reality dating show where a bunch of hot, single Instagram models (both literally and figuratively) stay in a "hotel" and find love/be so horny on national TV. They have to face a gauntlet of elimination ceremonies, new singles checking into the hotel, and weird games where they rub their bodies on a giant popsicle. (Golden Age of TV, baby.) Also, the winning couple gets $250,000. The show (which is being taped in real-ish time) got canceled four episodes in. Thankfully, the whole thing is up on Hulu for me/you/mostly me to consume. While watching a recent episode, I drunkenly said to myself, "I don't know if I like this show or not, but I do love it."
SOME THINGS I ATE WITH MY GOOD AND SMART BRAIN
This interview with Irving Ruan, comedy and real-life sweetie, by Delia Cai
This good and perfect piece on floats for a straight pride parade by the good and perfect Rebecca Caplan
This podcast episode of The Daily about the late Rachel Held Evans
SOMETHING I MADE FOR YOU TO EAT
I started seeing a counselor again recently and if you're wondering how that's going, here's a piece I wrote for McSweeney's called Conversation Starters For You And Your Therapist.
Stay hungry, b.
Mia
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Blog, A Short Musical About Cool Teens