CAKE FOR BREAKFAST: Is a Wrap a Sandwich or a Burrito?
Wowie baby, it's a new year. Hopefully, 2019 will be exactly 1 year long instead of 37 years long like 2018 was. Let's start this year off by arguing about something innocuous:
🌯Food Fights🥪
In the last newsletter, I asked you to help me dunk on my husband over how he bites into string cheese instead of peeling it into strings as THE NAME STRING CHEESE SUGGESTS. The results are in and the most popular way to eat string cheese is by...
(drumroll produced by banging two string cheeses against the counter)
PEELING YOUR STRING CHEESE INTO STRINGS!
83.3 percent of the people who responded to my scientific and important Google survey said they eat their string cheese by peeling it. 16.7 percent admitted to me and Google and now you that they are biters. The number of biters on Instagram was higher but still fell in favor of peeling: 30 percent of people said they bite into their string cheese, 70 percent peeled. A friend also sent me a video of her dog eating individual strings of string cheese because EVEN DOGS KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND CORRECT.
It should be noted that I did try biting into a string cheese FOR SCIENCE, and I regret to inform you that...I did enjoy it kind of a lot and ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁿᵒʷ ᶦⁿˢᵗᵉᵃᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉᵉˡᶦⁿᵍ. I'm so sorry to have disappointed my fans and, ultimately, myself. I will take this time to try to learn, grow, and reflect. I hope to come out of this unscathed, unchanged, and with a narrative I can monetize.
In the meantime, I need you to help me settle this new thing my husband and I are arguing about:
Is a wrap a sandwich or a burrito?
I am Team Sandwich because 1) wraps are listed under "sandwich" on most menus and not to be dramatic but 2) calling something like a chicken caesar wrap a "burrito" feels like a hate crime.
Riley is Team Burrito because 1) tortilla and 2) shape. I asked him if he wanted to explain further and he said that the proof is "self-evident." This is who you are reaffirming if you side with Team Burrito.
Please log your answer in this survey
Something I Ate With My Mouth
If you noticed something different about me, it's probably because yesterday I ate an apple as a snack. I promise you, though, I'm still the same Mia! For example, I was gifted a bag of Kit Kat minis, which I have put on a high, high shelf so I have to literally use a chair in order to eat them! I am a danger to myself and candy!!! It's just that sometimes I eat an apple as a snack if only so I can talk about it publicly later.
Something I Ate With My Eyes That Blew My Brain Straight Out My Ears
・．✩・。・．✩・。・．✩・。・．✩・。・．✩・。・．✩・。
If I've seen you in person in the last few weeks, I've probably used that opportunity to evangelize about Caity Weaver's What Is Glitter? for the New York Times. The piece leaves you with more questions than it answers, the biggest of which being: which secret industry is Glitterex's biggest market?!? Is it something we eat? Is it something we wear? Is it...people??? Are you there, Sarah Koenig? It's me, your next season of Serial.
Something For You To Eat
I was on the New Yorker's list of Not-to-Be-missed Shouts for 2018! The piece mentioned is called I'm a Guy's Girl. It only prompted one man to email me asking if we could meet in person so he could treat me (and this is a direct quote from the email ) "like 'one of the guys'. (assuming that's what you want, I didn't finish more than the first few sentences of your article." VERY COOL AND GOOD!!!
Speaking of actually good things, my good, good sister started a project called Good Grief in memory of a good, good friend. If you want to understand why my sister is perfect and I am obsessed with and endlessly proud of her, here is an excerpt from the story she shared:
I’m realizing that at some point in my lifetime, I’m going to hit that 10,000 hours-mark of grieving. And like Malcolm Gladwell explained in his book Outliers (that I constantly reference, but still haven’t read) 10,000 hours of practicing anything can turn anyone into an expert.
So while I grieve, I will do what I can with that time.
Sometimes, grief will just be grief. And I will have to accept that.
But, when I am not totally overcome by grief, I will do whatever I possibly can do to make good of it.
You can see some of the goods she (and out mom!) are making on the Good Grief Etsy shop.
Stay hungry, lil sweetie hunny babies.
Mia