CAKE FOR BREAKFAST: this year's met gala theme is funfetti
I'm currently ingesting all of the pictures and videos and internet shrines for Zendaya from this year's Met Gala. The theme is Camp a la Susan Sontag's Notes On "Camp," which I have not read because I am uncouth to an almost intentional degree. Which, if you think about it, is Camp.
Some highlights from the evening so far:
- Jared Leto came escorted by Jared Leto's head. Wow! Yes! We love Game of Thrones!!!
- Lady Gaga reenacted my last four brain cells when I'm trying to fall asleep.
- Gemma Chan was decorated with RAINBOW GEM-LINED FINGIES! I think number 78 on Sontag's list is "Camp is something inedible that makes you go YUMMY."
- Lizzo was there and I am happy about that!
- This bird. (Is that Daniel Day-Lewis coming out of retirement? We stan!)
- Kasey Musgraves came as Trixie Mattel.
- Jason Derulo did not fall down the Met Gala stairs this year or last year or any year. However, it would have been a highlight had he attended and fallen down the stairs or just showed up in a t-shirt screen-printed with that photo of "Jason Derulo" falling down the stairs. I am good at fashion. Let me run the Met Gala.
🧁 FOOD FIGHT🎂
Things have been civil in our household. We've been subsisting on Costco hotdogs and wasabi peas. We've been binging Bon Appetite's YouTube channel, the one true overlap of Riley and my taste venn diagram. He likes to see the mechanics of how things are made. I like to look at pictures of Cheetos. All was well until we started watching a video talking about how to make frosting.
The host in the video asserted that store-bought frosting (AKA frosting in a tub tastes) bad. I paused, looked at Riley, and he appeared unoffended. Thus, our food fight began.
Riley says store-bought frosting (your Duncan Hines, your Betty Crockers, your Pillsbury Funfettis) is bad. He says it's "too sweet" (a truly psycho assertion) and that "the consistency is gross." (This is a man who eats tortillas with peanut butter and cold shredded cheese. But okay, sure, my guy. Your palate is discerning when it comes to frosting. Got it.)
I say IT GOOD. Frosting in a can is delicious garbage. There's vanilla! There's chocolate! There's pink! There's BLUE! BRIGHT BLUE FROSTING! Blue frosting tastes like coming home after musical rehearsal in high school where you just sat in the auditorium for an hour, went onstage to be villager #3 for one group number, and then went back to doing your bio homework in the choir room with the rest of the ensemble cast. It tastes like remembering tomorrow is your birthday and maybe you should make a cake but instead you just buy frosting and eat it with a spoon. It tastes like living on your own for the first time and realizing you can just...buy frosting if you feel like it? It is gauche nostalgia. It is suburban opulence. It is not a substitute for homemade cream cheese frosting but IT IS STILL GOOD NONETHELESS.
Now that both sides have been argued equally and with no bias, VOTE HERE on whether you think store-bought frosting is good or bad.
SOMETHING I AM CURRENTLY EATING WITH MY MOUTH
(i'm writing this Monday night so, like, calm down i'm not drinking at 9 am)
Have I preached the good word about Truly to you yet? It is a brand of hard seltzer and I love it and I don't care what that says about how basic I am. I am basic! I'm baking soda, bitch! Anyway, I've been mixing a can of Passion Fruit Truly into a smoothie (nothing fancy - just some frozen fruit blended with a splash of orange juice lol i am a food blogger now), pouring it in a stemless glass and living out my true Suburban Wife on Vacation fantasy. It is the summer drink you deserve. It is the landlocked beach aesthetic I die for.
SOMETHING I AM ABOUT TO EAT WITH MY EYES
The second season of An Emmy for Megan is available for you to inject straight into your veins. If you aren't familiar with the series and didn't watch the first season, here is a recap. I haven't started the second season yet, but I still think about Megan Amram's rendition of the National Anthem from season 1 every day of my life.
SOMETHING I ATE WITH MY ~*MIND*~
Colin Nissan's O.K., You Can Get A Dog is worth one of your four free New Yorker articles. Also, I can confirm that Colin is as nice and friendly in person as he is funny on the internet. Always meet your heroes if they are named Colin Nissan.
SOMETHING I MADE FOR YOU TO EAT
Save another one of your free newyorker.com articles for the piece I have coming out with the New Yorker's Daily Shouts on Wednesday. Tune into your local internet to see it.
Also, I still have a book coming out next year! Wowie baby! A nice and helpful thing would be to follow me on Twitter or share this newsletter with someone you think might enjoy it. A friend! A colleague! Bobby S. from Glendale who I had a crush on in 3rd grade!
Stay hungry, babe!
(Should I become a woman who calls people "babe" as a pet name??? No? Okay, I'll do it!)
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