CAKE FOR BREAKFAST: we are all sisters now
My sister Ana is visiting for the week before she goes to live in the woods for five months. In some ways, we are very related (humming and dancing while eating, screamin for no reason, cute and depressed, etc.). In other ways, we share no DNA at all (she is going to live in the woods for half a year, I feel naked when I sleep without a blanket covering my feet indoors, etc.). Today, we will all dine as a family.
SOMETHING WE ATE WITH OUR MOUTHS
I've been eating string cheese like my life and high cholesterol depend on it. I've already talked enough about string cheese and how the correct way to eat it is by peeling it into strings as the name suggests. (I will admit that since doxxing Riley for biting into a whole stick of string cheese, I...have taken to occasionally chompin' into the string cheese whole. Pls forgive me. I am a monster and everything I touch turns to trash.)
Ana would like to share with you the following culinary masterpiece she ate for dinner: popcorn, broccoli slaw, and sriracha mayo, all in a bowl, eaten with a spoon. "Well, first with my hands," she says, "Then, with a spoon when it got too saucy. And again, at the end, with my hands when I was feeling...nasty." She also suggested I lie and say that she "maybe ate a Fig Newton...?" We are not a Fig Newton household.
SOMETHING WE ATE WITH OUR EARS
I am a cool teen who cannot stop listening to Lil Nas X's "Old Town Road" featuring Billy Ray Cyrus. Ana cosigns listening to "Old Town Road" and singing the wrong lyrics like, "I'm gonna riiiiiiide til the sun comes up." Yee haw and furthermore giddy up.
Here are three more songs Ana recommends. She has good taste and if you don't like the songs I will come to your house and give you a stern talking to:
- Still in Love by Thirdstory
- Winning by Charles Jenkins
- Pretty Ugly by Tierra Whack
SOMETHING WE ATE WITH OUR BIG BIG GALAXY BRAINS
Caity Weaver's Royal Baby FAQ answers all the questions you have about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's forthcoming spawn. (i.e. "What time is the royal baby?" and "What is Dumbarton, the place the Harry is the Earl of?")
Riane Konc wrote about NSYNC's end of the world anthem "Space Cowboy." The song is a gift to the world as is Riane. Also, "Space Cowboy" is the second most cuckoo song on "No Strings Attached." The first is obviously "Digital Get Down," in which Justin Timberlake is crooning about "bouncing me from satellite to satellite" and getting "freaky deaky" and cybering with a girl. The year 2000 was buck friggin wild.
Ana recommends reading this newsletter and also going on a road trip with your friend, driving behind a big boi truck with a bumper sticker of a lady pointing her finger with the speech bubble "Have you prayed today?" Bumper stickers are literature now.
SOMETHING WE MADE FOR YOU TO EAT
I wrote about Katie Bouman, the scientist who helped create the first-ever image of a black hole, for Bustle. She is very cool and impressive. And if you, like me, know the name of any of the Real Housewives, perhaps you should also know the name of the person responsible for that black hole picture.
Very cool and good publication The Establishment is ending. Here's a brand style guide for Women™ I wrote for them last year. In it you will find possible taglines for women ("Women: Not men but it's fine!") and iconography for women ("That picture of Marilyn Monroe standing over the grate photoshopped with a speech bubble that says “Wage gap!”)
You should check out Ana's Good Grief project she started last year. I asked her if she had anything to add and she said, "To all my haters out there...I'm coming for you."
Stay Hungry, sisters.
Mia Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Blog, An Obligatory Tweet About GoT